Jennifer & Pearl

We did it! 20.28km done!

I wasn't sure all day of I should do it! as the knee impingement was a but sore, but im glad i did! i walked on grass most of the way, and mindful of how it felt so not to over do it. Share

Tough walking through pain and annoyances today, but we kept on going!

I'm not sure how the month got away from me, how I got in the position of cramming a majority of my kms in the last week!. Lack of work life balance mostly I guess, as I'm always very busy. When I realised I had 15km remaining with less than a week to go, I figured I won't be able to achieve that so late, as I juggle chronic pain (crps), reoccurring sciatica  (from my piriformus muscle), and a knee impingement that recently recovered (but still is a weak knee) - but my husband made me believe I could do it, he broke it down it's only 3km a day... and made me realise it's do-able!.. so here I am, walking daily, above what I have done in a while with daily consistency, all to work towards what I aimed to achieve - the 20km for mental Health. It's risky for to cram this in, as flare ups can happen for me, like right now I'm experiencing sciatica flare up, caused from doing too much, (I normally have to work things up very slowly, I'm just hoping it eases for me to see this through!). Today there was more rain, which is ok. I actually like it - the tough parts were the sciatica pain mostly, these are the usual problems I have, so I need to be mindful that it's possible I won't reach this month's target if it doesn't ease overnight. A few annoyances on top of walking through the pain, as it became hot while raining, sun partly shining through clouds, so I had to carry my jumper and raincoat for about 2km, while swatting little pesty flies around my face, Anyway, I am still glad we did it. today! One foot forward, not just for me, but for this cause!for mental health. Only 6km to go to meet my 20km target! We are almost there, but it does feel like a long way yet to go! Share

Today's walk in the rain, my thoughts are with those needing mental health support

My mother has a narcissistic personality and is manipulative - she suffers from anxiety, depression, and multiple undiagnosed disorders, such as: obsessive compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder, just to name a few. ..... My childhood was difficult and I was forced to live like a statue and receive constant verbal abuse from her. I was not allowed to express my feelings due to her mood swings, verbal abuse and behaviour. ..... I had moved to 70 homes and 50 schools by age 15. She showed very little love or support for her kids, as life was one crisis after another moving and escaping small problems in life as an excuse to run from her problems continously. ..... Despite my childhood being taken from me and affecting my decision to have a family of my own later in years, I have always been there for her forgiving and helping her again and again. Why? because she's my mother. ..... I know she lived a childhood of trauma and violence resulting in her being the way she is - however I do have a limit, as I need to live my life free from her chaos, it runs a toll on any little relationship I do have with her, and my own mental health as well - as she creates situations to cause me anger or frustration so she can be in a position of appearing like a victim in her eyes and strangers eyes. ...... She has also recently been a trigger to my unstable and verbally abusive childhood, as she creates false accusations belittles me, and can be just plain nasty, which often leads to me distancing myself from her, to safe guard my self - and then she claims she has "no family" and cries in the arms of strangers. ...... Shes 71yo. and I am 41yo. I have reached a point in my life now where I need to protect myself from her wild accusations, but its not easy, as the guilt feelings and the need to help her never goes away. .... She doesn't want any help to get better, but there will be others out there who do want help. I might not be able to walk to support my mother, but I can for others who actually want to improve their situations. I'm walking for those who do want help, and to raise awareness for those family members affected by members of their family like mine who need mental health support. Share