Caitlyn Roper

My why... part of it

This is a heavy topic but it's something that needs to be spoken about more openly so here goes.... I do not want sympathy, I simply want to start conversations and help save lives because of these conversations and the money raised in this initiative and others. I've struggled with debilitating depression anxiety on and off since the age of 14. At times I actually planned how I would leave this world on my terms. I missed months of high school and was admitted for a hospital stay. I would throw up from the overwhelming feeling of my anxiety and I'd have to force myself to eat so I didn't waste away any more. Since then I have seen countless professionals and still do to this day. I continue to work on my mental health daily and honestly, it is a continuous struggle at times. I am fortunate enough to have a loving family and friends who supported me and continue to do so when I need it. Not everyone is as lucky. Suicide is not taking the easy way out. Anyone who says that has absolutely no understanding of these mental health struggles and how they can change how you view yourself and the world around you. Depression and anxiety cause your brain to lie to you and bombard you with thoughts and feelings that are to others, ridiculously illogical. But it feels so incredibly real and true. It's like trying to run in quicksand but no one can see you running. Clawing for air. Unfortunately many people hide these horrifically gut wrenching thoughts and feelings inside because they do not feel like they can share or they will be misunderstood or judged harshly. This is where they grow stronger and more dangerous, sometimes deadly. Depression is not just feeling sad or down. Anxiety is not just stress. Please, if you read this and roll your eyes... Educate yourself. Try to understand even just a little Share