Sam Mathews

The power of the mind

If you have followed my journey over the past seven years you would have seen me talk a lot about the after effects of the lowest point of my life and how poor mental wellbeing has affected me since. But I would like to share with you something new that I have learned this year, something about the human mind…

Our brains are a powerful thing. I have long been interested in psychology and, in particular, why we do the things we do. You may not know I also hold a university degree in psychology, criminology, and justice… the fascination has been there a long time. But back to what I’ve learned. This year has been terrifying for me, going out into exercise clinics and practicing what I’ve learned over the past few years. I went in with extremely low confidence and the belief that my communication skills would let me down. You see, I have subconsciously picked and chosen the negative aspects of my interactions with others for my whole life and have internalised them, believing the unkind comments or the minority to be the absolute truth about myself. This has led to me isolating myself over the years and not participating socially because it was all compounded by anxiety, which I’m now wondering if I brought on myself. This couldn’t have been further from the truth. At each of my placements (we do four in total over the year) we receive interim and final feedback across all aspects of professional practice. I bet you’ve already guessed what my feedback was, haven’t you? 

You’re right, I received overwhelmingly positive feedback about my communication and the “soft skills” I hold that some have said cannot be taught. I’ve had some supervisors ask if I have worked in the field before, or in other allied health because, for them, my communication has been beyond a lot of what they see in most other students that come through. Some of the feedback that I hold really close to my heart, from supervisors and clients, is that I make people feel welcome, valued, safe, and validated. I have also had some interesting looks of almost shock when I have remembered clients names. 

I don’t say all this for praise or to toot my own horn. The point I’m trying to make is that my brain, for 38 years, has lied to me. This is probably a gross oversimplification of the processes and different factors that have led to this point, but this year has really shown me just how powerful the human mind is and the effects it can have on all domains of life. Especially social, psychological and emotional aspects… the things that make us feel we matter, we belong, we are accepted. 

I’m going to be keeping my feedback from placements and have been writing down the little positive gems from my experiences this year as a way to remind myself in the future that I’m actually pretty awesome… especially in those moments when doubt comes creeping back in. I would highly recommend doing the same if you struggle with negative self perception. Build that evidence base that you can present to your brain when it’s screaming at you otherwise ❤️

My why **trigger warning (suicide)**

I first partnered with Black Dog Institute in 2020 just months after my own suicide attempt. My goal was to make a difference in the lives of those living with depression. If even one person was spared from experiencing what I did in the months following the lowest point of my life then my journey was not in vain. Depression is isolating, paralysing, and soul destroying. The aftermath, for me, saw people that I thought the world of act like I was invisible, complain that I wasn’t talking enough, and avoid me like I was a rare and highly infectious disease. 

Since then, I have quit my job and returned to university to become an Exercise Physiologist so that I can help others experiencing depression to live the best life they can with the cheapest, most readily available and accessible medicine out there - exercise! 

I have come to the conclusion that my mental health is always going to be something that I struggle with. That I will have to work harder than some to maintain an acceptable equilibrium. This is totally okay and normal for so many people. My journey over the past seven years has put some amazing people in my life and has given me many tools that I can rely on to optimise my own mental health. I am so grateful for these and 100% attribute my better mental health this year to them. The process to optimal mental wellbeing is not linear though, it is messy and can often feel like one step forward and ten giant leaps back! 

So I am back for my seventh year. I am here for every single person who has experienced or is experiencing depression or poor mental health. I am here for those who have witnessed someone they love suffering, for those who have lost someone they love to this terrible illness. I am here for me and my family. I am walking for those who are suffering, whilst living out the experience myself. You are not alone! You are never alone ❤️